first and foremost, i would like to credit both Mohd Rased bin Haji Said and Maimunah bte Haji Azis for bringing me into this world. 9 months and a few days. yes. thats a long time for someone to be carrying me in her womb. suffering. anxiety attack. yes. all that shits. thanx. for sticking through the bad and good. mom and dad. you are heaven-blessed.
i wore glasses since i was 9. 1995. yes. that was the year i got my first pair. i can't seem to remember the description. most probably gold rimmed. yes. i had class. had. before. not now. now i just settle for anything. anything that suits my face. yes. i'm ironic. and pretty contradictory at times. i can never settle for second best. i always never backs down without a fight. yes. i hate to lose. but if i have to, i would graciously step down. there you go. my ironicite is acting up. i know.
music wise. im pretty incline. yes. i can sing. i can dance. i can play instruments. though i'm a Jack of all trade, i'm not really that good. on an average level. i love to groove. alot. yes. but not always. and damn. i love to irritate my pals with my singing. its not really good and at times, pisses them off. yes. i'm Star's annoying voice. sarcasm use to be in my blood. have the tendency to just dish it out. anyone. anywhere. yes. cruel to the eye.
i hate my feelings. yes. them. that mix reaction. an attack of anxiety. the sad. the happy. the downright feeling of swimming in a pool of mud. nah. shit. dungs. yes. hate it. will come anytime. and it scares me. yes. cause i won't be sure of it. if i think i'm sad, i will not be. if i think i'm happy, i will not be. not be. will not be. contradiction. at times i just forget about it. yes. being ignorant. i know some people tend to have this philosophy. ignorance is bliss. i tried applying them. what does it do? zilch. nothing. yes. nothing. cause i'm drawn to it. yes. im a drawer. i love to eat that apple. that forbidden fruit we call temptation. at times i'm successful. yes. but most of the time? correct. one minute i'm telling myself no. and the next. what did i do? peeling off the skin.
i love to sleep. yes. anytime. anywhere. if i'm comfortable where i am. that's my mat. sleeping mat. to doze and in la la land. yes. i love it. my pals hate it. especially during the movies. yes, ladies and gentlemen. i slept in the cinema. no use hiding the fact. think about it. dark place. cooling atmosphere. no one to disturb. good movie. perfect. yes. the last few movies. with my friends. even with a girl beside me. i would just rest my elbow on the resting pad and with my palm on my cheek. i purchase the ticket. the announcement on the air. "All aboard! Next stop: La La Land!" take me away.

Nabil
Yahya
Sharifah
Cute Q
Nabilah
Najibah< /a>
Zila
Khairana
Zaid
Asi ah
Hid
Sara h Uncle D
Poji
Yazmil
Lydia
Ayienz
Raiz uan
Nurul Iman
Zahidah
Shyda
S.A.L. S.A.
Cute Devil

Friday, May 20, 2005

Tuesday, April 26, 2005
On 15 april 2005 7.1o am..my aunt juz passed away..haiz so sad sey..!! dun even get 2 c her 4 the last time..but 2 tell u guyz the truth,it was not so surprising coz we(my family) knew that lungs cancer can't b cured..juz have 2 let go..although we luv her so much juz have 2 learn 2 let go..mayb tuhan lagi syg kan die..wat 2 do...???...ni sume kuase tuhan..she was a very gud aunt indeed..n i knew my uncle n family wld feel very sad..life have 2 go on.....

excerpt from shida's blog.

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first post by hidayah.

to my cousin, shida.

i am sorry for your loss in not being able to see our late aunt's body for the last time. and i feel for you. i will tell you, in detail of the morning of 15 April.

my mum was constantly thinking about the deceased on that fateful morning. she tries to forget about it, but it seems to distract her from her morning prayers. both my sis were on a long break from work. i have a bad feeling that morning. indecisive would be the correct word to describe my feelings then. whether to go to school, or stay at home. and yes. i did fought with Mus. (again!) cos he insist on me going to school. but, my mum ordered me not to. hmm. he was disappointed but he understood. he was on his way to his mum's grave too. what happens next, didn't come to a surprise to either one of my family members. your brother left a voicemail message to my Angah's (middle sis) handphone with the news of our aunt's passing. all of us rush to her home immediately.

the entrance

i saw a group of our uncles carrying the corpse to the floor to be kapan. hmm. i sat beside her. looking down on her lifeless body. her face was totally different. then it came upon to me. my aunt is dead. tears began swelling up in my eyes as the thought of this aunt of mine is no longer with us. i fight the tears like the people around me. but i can hear some sobbing in the background. i pray Al Fatehah for her. hoping that she will be somewhere that is peaceful. among all our cousins, only me and my two sisters get to give her our last kiss on her forehead.

im sorry that you couldnt get to see her for the last time. i hope with this first hand account of what happened on that day may ease you. we all are very close to the deceased. and we know how much the pain and suffering that she encounters and experienced lying there on her deathbed. hopefully ALLAH S.W.T. bless her soul. Amin.


*~__ Afa Romeo ___ ~*