first and foremost, i would like to credit both Mohd Rased bin Haji Said and Maimunah bte Haji Azis for bringing me into this world. 9 months and a few days. yes. thats a long time for someone to be carrying me in her womb. suffering. anxiety attack. yes. all that shits. thanx. for sticking through the bad and good. mom and dad. you are heaven-blessed.
i wore glasses since i was 9. 1995. yes. that was the year i got my first pair. i can't seem to remember the description. most probably gold rimmed. yes. i had class. had. before. not now. now i just settle for anything. anything that suits my face. yes. i'm ironic. and pretty contradictory at times. i can never settle for second best. i always never backs down without a fight. yes. i hate to lose. but if i have to, i would graciously step down. there you go. my ironicite is acting up. i know.
music wise. im pretty incline. yes. i can sing. i can dance. i can play instruments. though i'm a Jack of all trade, i'm not really that good. on an average level. i love to groove. alot. yes. but not always. and damn. i love to irritate my pals with my singing. its not really good and at times, pisses them off. yes. i'm Star's annoying voice. sarcasm use to be in my blood. have the tendency to just dish it out. anyone. anywhere. yes. cruel to the eye.
i hate my feelings. yes. them. that mix reaction. an attack of anxiety. the sad. the happy. the downright feeling of swimming in a pool of mud. nah. shit. dungs. yes. hate it. will come anytime. and it scares me. yes. cause i won't be sure of it. if i think i'm sad, i will not be. if i think i'm happy, i will not be. not be. will not be. contradiction. at times i just forget about it. yes. being ignorant. i know some people tend to have this philosophy. ignorance is bliss. i tried applying them. what does it do? zilch. nothing. yes. nothing. cause i'm drawn to it. yes. im a drawer. i love to eat that apple. that forbidden fruit we call temptation. at times i'm successful. yes. but most of the time? correct. one minute i'm telling myself no. and the next. what did i do? peeling off the skin.
i love to sleep. yes. anytime. anywhere. if i'm comfortable where i am. that's my mat. sleeping mat. to doze and in la la land. yes. i love it. my pals hate it. especially during the movies. yes, ladies and gentlemen. i slept in the cinema. no use hiding the fact. think about it. dark place. cooling atmosphere. no one to disturb. good movie. perfect. yes. the last few movies. with my friends. even with a girl beside me. i would just rest my elbow on the resting pad and with my palm on my cheek. i purchase the ticket. the announcement on the air. "All aboard! Next stop: La La Land!" take me away.

Nabil
Yahya
Sharifah
Cute Q
Nabilah
Najibah< /a>
Zila
Khairana
Zaid
Asi ah
Hid
Sara h Uncle D
Poji
Yazmil
Lydia
Ayienz
Raiz uan
Nurul Iman
Zahidah
Shyda
S.A.L. S.A.
Cute Devil

Thursday, March 22, 2007

its all her fault. faeza. that 5 letter princess. that weird girl. she did it. she make me confess. make me blurt it out. the things i promise myself never to tell. she got that magic. dammit~! i never thought that i would be saying stuffs to her that i would normally say to someone i adore. yes. i adore her. no. more so. i've fallen for her. her smile. that sweet innocent smile of hers. that sad puppy dog eyes of hers. like a broken pet just emerging from the troubled habitat it had lived for years. it will pierce to any man's soul. it pierce to mine. right in the heart. then i fell.

down this abyss. is this bliss, i told myself. is this what i want, i ponder. i'm falling deep now. down it goes. no assurance of any safety. any rock or stone for me to grip on. nothing. zilch. just falling. its dark. like in a bat's cave. but wheres the opening? the entrance, if i may ask. the end?

we were just friends in the beginning. honestly. its complicated how we are connected. fate can be cruel at times. but this time. it is correct. spot on. the times i shared with her. pool games that i lost. wonderful. though at times kind of pisses me off because i tend to miscue my cue. yes. i suck at pool. but she's not.

i remember that day. on the train platform. she said something that stirs up the jealousy in me. my hulk. yes. not rage. not wrath that ignites the fire deep. but jealousy. yeaps. envy. one of the deadly sins. i can't help it. its like a scratch on your back that you can't reach with your hands. its itchy. and disturbing. just like that. arghhh~! i went up to her. face to face. my right hand on her chin. no. don't. i'm trying to keep it deep inside. don't you say it, Mustafa. please. it will ruin this friendship. arghhh~! i'm gonna take the risk. i don't care. i want to. let whatever happens, happens. i'm not gonna be second best anymore. this is my fate. this is my destiny. all that envy deep inside plus boiling rage and a wave of passion for this girl. love. faeza. i'm on the verge of a cliff. taking the risk. went back a few steps. inhaling deep breaths. one. two. "faeza..."

and the train arrives.


*~__ Afa Romeo ___ ~*