first and foremost, i would like to credit both Mohd Rased bin Haji Said and Maimunah bte Haji Azis for bringing me into this world. 9 months and a few days. yes. thats a long time for someone to be carrying me in her womb. suffering. anxiety attack. yes. all that shits. thanx. for sticking through the bad and good. mom and dad. you are heaven-blessed.
i wore glasses since i was 9. 1995. yes. that was the year i got my first pair. i can't seem to remember the description. most probably gold rimmed. yes. i had class. had. before. not now. now i just settle for anything. anything that suits my face. yes. i'm ironic. and pretty contradictory at times. i can never settle for second best. i always never backs down without a fight. yes. i hate to lose. but if i have to, i would graciously step down. there you go. my ironicite is acting up. i know.
music wise. im pretty incline. yes. i can sing. i can dance. i can play instruments. though i'm a Jack of all trade, i'm not really that good. on an average level. i love to groove. alot. yes. but not always. and damn. i love to irritate my pals with my singing. its not really good and at times, pisses them off. yes. i'm Star's annoying voice. sarcasm use to be in my blood. have the tendency to just dish it out. anyone. anywhere. yes. cruel to the eye.
i hate my feelings. yes. them. that mix reaction. an attack of anxiety. the sad. the happy. the downright feeling of swimming in a pool of mud. nah. shit. dungs. yes. hate it. will come anytime. and it scares me. yes. cause i won't be sure of it. if i think i'm sad, i will not be. if i think i'm happy, i will not be. not be. will not be. contradiction. at times i just forget about it. yes. being ignorant. i know some people tend to have this philosophy. ignorance is bliss. i tried applying them. what does it do? zilch. nothing. yes. nothing. cause i'm drawn to it. yes. im a drawer. i love to eat that apple. that forbidden fruit we call temptation. at times i'm successful. yes. but most of the time? correct. one minute i'm telling myself no. and the next. what did i do? peeling off the skin.
i love to sleep. yes. anytime. anywhere. if i'm comfortable where i am. that's my mat. sleeping mat. to doze and in la la land. yes. i love it. my pals hate it. especially during the movies. yes, ladies and gentlemen. i slept in the cinema. no use hiding the fact. think about it. dark place. cooling atmosphere. no one to disturb. good movie. perfect. yes. the last few movies. with my friends. even with a girl beside me. i would just rest my elbow on the resting pad and with my palm on my cheek. i purchase the ticket. the announcement on the air. "All aboard! Next stop: La La Land!" take me away.

Nabil
Yahya
Sharifah
Cute Q
Nabilah
Najibah< /a>
Zila
Khairana
Zaid
Asi ah
Hid
Sara h Uncle D
Poji
Yazmil
Lydia
Ayienz
Raiz uan
Nurul Iman
Zahidah
Shyda
S.A.L. S.A.
Cute Devil

Saturday, April 07, 2007

feeling of lost. deprive of want. hunger. an isolation to the next degree. losing everything. cutting off from the world. yes, thats what i feel. great depths. to a much deeper extend. i miss of being want. miss of being need. miss of being held. miss of being in love. the most intricate feeling one can experience. its a blessing. its a curse. its something to be yearned. love.


watched The Reaping with her. lame-ass opening. gradually the interest builds up. it explodes as a closure. beautifully crafted. magnificent showcase. draggy love story wedge in. its not necessary. but Hillary Swank wasn't that convincing as a sceptic. imagine comparing Science and Religious Plagues. that is so blasphemic. but overall. the twist will throw you off completely. i didn't understand the movie at first. was busy dozing off for a few minutes. tired. lethargic. she told me about it. let me in on the story. explain fully.


the topic turns to supernatural. from religion. Islam, Christianity, Judaism. our basic knowledge and whatnots. interesting. then our stories on ghosts. her experience. her family's. mine. my family. goosebumps began to broke out. hundreds all over my body. how the Bidadari Mrt Station was erected and abandoned. no prize for guessing why it was done so. the Matilda's house. Red House. Blue House. unimaginable apparitions. scary. fear.


i can never understand myself. yes. thats how intricate i m. i am a heavy sleeper. i sleep alot. i can doze off as and when my body shuts down. in theaters. in food courts. in the carpark. while working. below those huge containers. talking on the phone. yes. on the phone. with her most of the time. and she will get pissed. yes. she told me to sleep if i'm tired. but. thats the thing. i don't want to. there's so much i want to say to her that can never wait. and thats that. when she ask me what is it. i will be nervous and start with the "erm..erm..." shit. its disheartening. its typical me. it sucks. hate that feeling. why can't i just say it. why can't i say what i feel. why can't i be clean with it. no answers. floating in the wind. the air. no landing. i can't go down. and never going up.


i am a Monopoly piece. a shoe. a car. an iron. the dice is my cue to move. six faces, different dots. read from the top. do i go to jail? must i pay my doctor's fee? i have to pass go. landing on someone's property will burn my pocket. right through. there's no ending to it. well. got to burn till the competitor gives up. hmm. interesting.


she is my die,
i am a piece.
where she stops,
that's where i'll be.


*~__ Afa Romeo ___ ~*