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Tuesday, April 17, 2007
am sitting at the edge of the bed. my cousin's bed. yes. and typing this post. with a runny nose. weak joints and sore legs. i just came home from work. yes. my daily routine. have to be up by 6.30am. to the bathroom i go. teeth'a'brushing. yes. i love my teeth. kept them white and shining as possible. then off to my uncle's lorry. yes. a white one. then off to send my aunt. his wife. my mum's sister. yes. she works at a nursery. with little kids. toddlers. TOD-DEL-LERS. yes. thats how a Singaporean pronounce our small yet manipulating little angels. pick up his fren. and we're off. yes. to work. be it rain or shine. right on time. maybe a bit late. but still. yes. i am a workaholic. i bled and i shed tears.
i laugh whenever i watch that commercial. yes. a woman. clad in a white shirt. that face. i laugh. yes. i did. laugh at that bitch. with her rotting teeth. pus growing from within. acknowledging the fact that she's having cancer. haha. i laugh. and there. in that precise moment. when the camera zooms out from her ever-decaying mouth. she admits to the world. yes. "QUITTING IS HARD. NOT QUITTING IS HARDER." haha. seriously. look at yourself in the mirror. statistics gone wrong. yes. here. what we have is something off the chart. yes. if they can show that on tv. what's next? a flight of pigs? zooming across our once peaceful sky? i laugh. she's a girl. yes. how many female smokers out there? you? no. heavy smokers. the one who smokes 3 packs a day. yes. there are a few men who does that. back to the question. are there? no? case close.
i'm not like who i use to be. i change. people do. yes. but its different this time. i remember how i used to be all cheerful. yes. i was that extrovert. that jovial kind of person. bubbly and at times, would rant endlessly. i am like 7-11. never stop. never close. yes. call me what you want. i was just that. yes. i would show off my dimple and smile to every girl i saw. yes. being frenly. but not this time. it changes. i notice a few girls. i would just show them a disgusted look. yes. i walk off. not a care in the world. hmm. i pity all you fools. yes. i'm bad. worse. i have to change back. revert back. bring sexy back. what?
i smoke. yes. took in that disgusting puff. from that bud. yuck. smoking tobacco. paper. yuck. i love it. yes. it took me to places. yes. i admit. i am a heavy smoker. if i'm not smoking, i would think about it. when i am, i would still think about it. yes. thats crazy. its addictive. now i feel like smoking. but. its destroying me. deep inside. chest pains. endless migraines at ends. waking up with this terrible yucky feeling in my mouth. couldn't catch my breath. nose bleeds like a tap. you name it. i've done it. its not something to be proud of. yes. an awful feeling. i know the pros and cons of it. i do. but i just love to taste the forbidden fruit. yes. one thing's for sure. not for a million years i would take a sip of alcohol.
i am happy now.
yes.
take me away, ciggie?
*~__ Afa Romeo ___ ~*
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