first and foremost, i would like to credit both Mohd Rased bin Haji Said and Maimunah bte Haji Azis for bringing me into this world. 9 months and a few days. yes. thats a long time for someone to be carrying me in her womb. suffering. anxiety attack. yes. all that shits. thanx. for sticking through the bad and good. mom and dad. you are heaven-blessed.
i wore glasses since i was 9. 1995. yes. that was the year i got my first pair. i can't seem to remember the description. most probably gold rimmed. yes. i had class. had. before. not now. now i just settle for anything. anything that suits my face. yes. i'm ironic. and pretty contradictory at times. i can never settle for second best. i always never backs down without a fight. yes. i hate to lose. but if i have to, i would graciously step down. there you go. my ironicite is acting up. i know.
music wise. im pretty incline. yes. i can sing. i can dance. i can play instruments. though i'm a Jack of all trade, i'm not really that good. on an average level. i love to groove. alot. yes. but not always. and damn. i love to irritate my pals with my singing. its not really good and at times, pisses them off. yes. i'm Star's annoying voice. sarcasm use to be in my blood. have the tendency to just dish it out. anyone. anywhere. yes. cruel to the eye.
i hate my feelings. yes. them. that mix reaction. an attack of anxiety. the sad. the happy. the downright feeling of swimming in a pool of mud. nah. shit. dungs. yes. hate it. will come anytime. and it scares me. yes. cause i won't be sure of it. if i think i'm sad, i will not be. if i think i'm happy, i will not be. not be. will not be. contradiction. at times i just forget about it. yes. being ignorant. i know some people tend to have this philosophy. ignorance is bliss. i tried applying them. what does it do? zilch. nothing. yes. nothing. cause i'm drawn to it. yes. im a drawer. i love to eat that apple. that forbidden fruit we call temptation. at times i'm successful. yes. but most of the time? correct. one minute i'm telling myself no. and the next. what did i do? peeling off the skin.
i love to sleep. yes. anytime. anywhere. if i'm comfortable where i am. that's my mat. sleeping mat. to doze and in la la land. yes. i love it. my pals hate it. especially during the movies. yes, ladies and gentlemen. i slept in the cinema. no use hiding the fact. think about it. dark place. cooling atmosphere. no one to disturb. good movie. perfect. yes. the last few movies. with my friends. even with a girl beside me. i would just rest my elbow on the resting pad and with my palm on my cheek. i purchase the ticket. the announcement on the air. "All aboard! Next stop: La La Land!" take me away.

Nabil
Yahya
Sharifah
Cute Q
Nabilah
Najibah< /a>
Zila
Khairana
Zaid
Asi ah
Hid
Sara h Uncle D
Poji
Yazmil
Lydia
Ayienz
Raiz uan
Nurul Iman
Zahidah
Shyda
S.A.L. S.A.
Cute Devil

Thursday, January 17, 2008

the day is 17th of january
17 days has pass since the new year
a new revolution
a new lease on life
yes
i have completed my BRT

it has been months since the last entry. i noe. why has it been so long. sigh. i have no time. seriously. not that i have nothing to type. i do. lots. from family. to love. to friends and shits. i don't think one entry will be enough. but still. heres a start.

60-odd days in the BRTC. Basic Rescue Training Centre. Jalan Bahar. where young men became adults. independants. keeping fit. yes. i was from the BP squad. the obese lots. the overweight kids. the ones you shun during secondary schools. the one in TAF clubs. yes. i'm all that. i was ashame in the beginning. to be in the mix of these hopeless kids. kids who are on the other side of the healthy lifestyle. but i was wrong. dead wrong. i was happy. yes. not for the fact that i'm the fittest of the fat lots. but for the fact that they are normal human beings. they speak normal human languages. and they treat you like normal human beings. i feel at home.
Platoon 1. Vipers. 35 guys. individuals. every single one with different backgrounds and upbringings. came together for one solid reason. lose weight. yes. 13 weeks of heaven and hell. together. as a platoon. as a team. i would like to take this time to thank each and every one of those brothers of mine for their relentless support and encouragement through this hellish time. thank you.

i am in the middle. the fence that is. yes. i have no biasness in me. i cant choose sides. thats how terrible and horrible this feels. for all i know, i wanna leave. just walk out. not sitting on it. the fence. its painful. to the posterier. for once. i would like to have some peace and serenity. yes. serenity. in the form of a justifiable answer. but then. who knows what would be the outcome of this failed decision making answer. i have no qualms about it. but as i lay there with nothing on my mind. it gets to me. yes. crawls. slowly and as it creeps unsteadily and unhastily to that channels of thought. it will bleed. it will bleed. like an overflowing sink. with an irregular matter choking and stuck within the system. virus. yes. and thus it do spread. like a cobweb. nay. bacteria feasting on the flesh of a failed skin scraped from a useless human bone. no muscle. no meat. just flesh.

i love her.


*~__ Afa Romeo ___ ~*